It’s a challenge to bubble up the major lessons learned during a period that was blurry beyond belief. I made a commitment to reflect and share that reflection with you, however, so here I am.
I am no expert, but I am human, and I believe this past year has made each of us an expert of our own self-awareness and guiding forces that shape how we live our lives and connect.
Here are my five takeaways from a time I never could have imagined.
FINDING CLARITY
“When everything becomes uncertain, everything that is important becomes clear.”
We’ve had no choice but to focus on survival — mentally, health-wise, financially, interpersonally — this past year. The idea of “form over function” was stripped from us when we had to, without exaggeration, re-teach ourselves how to function without the freedoms and luxuries that filled our days and communities. This pandemic year has taught me so much focus (besides the distraction of case counts flooding news channels and mobile push notifications). It’s given me a sense of clarity for what matters and, plainly put, what really isn’t worth my time.
EMBRACING THE POD
We all joke about the “honeymoon phase” of the pandemic last Spring, when quality time became the only option and once-unfound opportunities to dine, converse and live under one roof uninterrupted were plenty. I was so excited to spend more time with Alex, my parents and Memphis-bound siblings who otherwise would have been in Italy and New York for the semester. We’d meal plan every single day and pull out puzzles, shows and silly games. The enthusiasm wore off as space (besides a solo afternoon stroll/run) and patience shrunk. I still praise my parent-friends who managed to hang on with toddlers and newborns in the mix, too. I literally could. not. imagine. However, I personally think that we’ve learned how to balance personalities and preferences of those in our pod better than we ever could have. The pods we’ve formed and fostered are stronger and better because of this.
CHOOSING JOY
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned during these 365+ days of the pandemic is the distinction between happiness and joy. My Dad, a rabbi, shared it with me last summer. I just rewatched his talk to remind myself of his words to share with you. We often get caught up with the larger pursuit of happiness while forgetting about little moments of joy.
Happiness is a broader self evaluation about how we feel about our life — it is very big and very vague (like our current COVID-driven situations ). Joy is a simpler, more momentary experience of positive emotion. And you can access it anytime. It’s hard to be happy during such a deeply sad time. But when we experience small moments of joy, it helps us cope better and eventually bounce back. This pandemic is certainly not of our choosing. But cultivating a deeper sense of joy is our choice.
UNDOING TIMELINES
“2020 was going to be the year we…” The year we were vacationing in Europe (ha). The year we were to celebrate best friends’ weddings from coast to coast. The year we were _______. You fill in the blank. We all had a plan, and that plan didn’t happen. We choose to use that word “delayed by one year.” But that’s currently not the case, either, as we’re past the one-year point.
There is no such thing as a perfect timeline. We’ve become more open to change and flexibility, because why blame ourselves for failure to meet planned timelines when this pandemic is not our fault?
While my goals are clear, my path and pace to get there can be more fluid.
EXPANDING THE DEFINITION OF “HOME”
It’s surreal to witness how we’ve pushed the boundaries of the definition of “home.” Our humble abodes—1,200 square feet, in our case—evolved into our offices, our gyms, our restaurants and bars, our movie theaters, our libraries, our yoga studios, our churches and synagogues, our schools, our spas. The walls can feel confining, but the creativity can be freeing. And now that we can carefully (at last) leave our homes, coming back to it feels so, so good.
And , to close:
Supporting your local restaurants and retailers is never optional.
Wearing sweats is always optional.
Please share your takeaways in the comments! I’d love to read and learn from you.